Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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