Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
