You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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