What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
