So drunk its hurt
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
