is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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