First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
