I can tuck mytits in my pants
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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