I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
