My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
