There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
