That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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