i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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