when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
false alarm. still invincible.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
