Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
