guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
