Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
