We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
