we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
