A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
