I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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