perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
