Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
