I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
