Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i need to put some appletini on your dick
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
