you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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