I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
