Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
