covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
