You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
false alarm. still invincible.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
