ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My bed smells like the plague
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
