My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize