i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
