sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
