I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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