You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
