Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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