My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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