escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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