the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
