I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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