Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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