i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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