Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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