omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
