is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
