evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
