we made out on top of his cat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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