I don't think brook has ever known best
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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