my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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