dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
