i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
