Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
