And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
