do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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