awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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