Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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