i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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